Chapter 12 ~ Singing?

I think about what to make for dinner, referencing a sports nutrition book I bought the other day.

Mom made enough soup and sides yesterday for leftovers, so we'll be fine if I just make the main dish.

Thinking it over, I settle on something I'm used to making: pork simmered in tomato sauce. It's got lots of vitamins and helps to relieve fatigue, so it's perfect for Ren, exhausted after her club. And for me, since I'm also sleep-deprived.

Putting an apron over my regular clothes,^[1] I fetch the pork I bought on the way home. From there, I get the seasoning and other ingredients I bought and start the familiar work of cooking.

Moving my hands automatically, I think about Tomoka-chan's words from earlier. She seems to have some ideas about Shimamoto-san, but what in the world are they? It's simply amazing she can come up with a theory based on my incoherent explanation. It's just like her to study and read so astonishingly well.

I read a lot of books, too, but I'm only good at modern Japanese. I'm not at all perfect like she is.

She's used to getting confessions, so I wonder if she'd have responded better. I remember Shimamoto-san's desperate voice and pleading eyes. I definitely did something wrong, but I'm so bad with romance and the like that I have no idea what it was.

I sigh at my incompetence. At this rate, growing up to protect Ren and Mom feels like a pipe dream. My faint heart rear its head, seeming to consume me for a moment. I remember how Tomoka-chan cheered me on and pull myself together. I have to do what I can for now.

As I'm grappling with this introspection and the frying pan, the sliding door rattles open. For some reason, Ren drops by the kitchen with faster footsteps than usual.

"Welcome back."

I turn toward Ren and smile. She'd normally just nod or ignore me without responding, but like in the morning, her mouth wavers.

"Thanks," she says quietly, then falls silent. She doesn't move, looking like she really wants to say something.

"What's wrong?"

As I carefully check the heat level and sear quality, I fish for what she's thinking.^[2]

After hesitating a moment, Ren asks, "You were confessed to, Onee-chan?"

"Yeah. I was pretty surprised, though."

Ren's eyes widen, then she opens her mouth again.

"How'd you reply?"

Pork sizzles on the frying pan. My face flushes anew with her question, embarrassment and discomfort each sharing half my headspace. I carefully choose my next words.

"Err... I was really honored, but I turned her down. I'm still not sure about dating yet."

"I see," Ren mutters as if totally disinterested, quickly leaving the kitchen.

I watch her go, then recall her words from yesterday: "You can't date someone like that."

I really wonder what that meant. Yesterday, I felt something sincere there, but given her weak reaction just now, maybe I was mistaken. Maybe I was even so flustered at the time that the memory itself was misheard.

I finish cooking as I wrack my brain.

I turn the heat off, serve three portions each, then cover each plate with plastic wrap and put them in the fridge. We each eat at different times on days like today when Mom works. Mom and I eat together when our schedules match but Ren usually eats in her room, so we aren't often able to eat together.

It's been like this since who knows when. I feel a bit lonely, but I realize it's still early for dinner, so I set off to do some light housework elsewhere.

Heading toward the second floor, I take in and fold the laundry, then put it in the closet. I head towards the bath/dressing room^[3] to put the towels away.

The dressing room door is closed. I can faintly hear running water, so maybe Ren's taking a shower.

I open the door and enter to quickly put the towels away. Except I can't believe my ears.

The season you grew up in

Seemed not to overflow with sad songs^[4]

From the bathroom, all that can be heard is running water from the shower and singing. I can't possibly believe such cheerful singing is coming out of Ren's mouth, her volume verging on passionate. She's singing a tune often heard in Dad's car, a long time ago.

Did something good happen? I can't connect the always-cool Ren with this resounding singing voice.

Feeling like I'm hearing something I shouldn't be, I tidy up the towels and leave the bathroom.