Chapter 5 ~ Correct?

I live a short ten-minute walk from school. My house is off a main road lined with new developments, a little ways down an alley crowded with older traditional houses.^[1]

The entrance rattles wearily as it slides open.

"I'm home."

My voice reverberates down the hall.

"Welcome back!" a voice behind a door returns.

Feeling giddy, I take my shoes off and head down the hallway. I open the door and pass into the living room. In the kitchen, Mom hums as she cooks. She's in a good mood.

"I'm back," I announce again from behind her.

"Welcome home. Today I'm making the nikujaga^[2] you and your sister love. I've gotta show off my dignity as a mother and cook my daughters' favorite foods on what nights off I get," Mom says, laughing heartily.

She's beautiful, charming, and handsome. Having raised two daughters by herself, she's pretty organized. She's slender like a model and always walks with her head held high. She works all day managing the pharmacy in front of the station, and the whole community really trusts her.

Even though our family's a little different from everyone else's, I really love my mom.

"Yay, I'm looking forward to it! Do you need any help?"

"Sure, thanks. The food's almost ready, so can I ask you to wash the dishes?"

"Of course!" I say. I wash my hands and gargle in the bathroom next door, put my bag in my room, then stand next to Mom.

"I usually leave the cooking to you, so I'm sorry for asking you for help again today."

"I don't mind. Besides, I like being your helper! I can chat with you like this."

"You're such a good girl, Ai... and Ren's working so hard at her club. I'm so nonathletic, I can't believe she's my daughter. I really am so fortunate that I can spend time with my cute, hard-working girls," she murmurs earnestly.

"Mom, you're overreacting. I admire how hard you're always working, too. We really appreciate you."

"I just wanna spend more time with you two, not work... I'm sorry it's been lonely since you were little."

'Sorry it's been lonely.' That's her catchphrase. It's only when she says it that her usual straightforwardness cracks and she looks a little forlorn. Her proudly straightened back bends.

Seeing that expression always reminds me that I've gotta be a good girl so I never worry her. I've gotta grow up so I can protect her and Ren in the future.

"It's okay. We're doing well because you work so hard for us," I say, smiling.

"Thank you," Mom says, smiling as she dissolves miso in a pot.

Her smiling face resembles Ren's so well. I haven't seen Ren smile in a long time. I reflect on that for a moment while I scrub residue off with a sponge.

"How's school been, Ai? Fun?"

"It is. Still hanging out with Tomoka-chan."

"Oh, that's nice. Any problems? I'm worried that Ren hasn't talked much recently, and you're a little too nice for your own good, too."

"There's nothing to worry about, it's always fun!"

After I say this, I remember what happened at the shoe lockers today. Something different, even novel: the letter inside my bag.

"But I might have one problem... well, I... kinda... received a love letter."

Since it's the first time I've talked to Mom about this kind of thing, I get embarrassed midway through and stumble over the rest. I anxiously scrub a bowl with my sponge. I can't see her expression.

"Really? That's incredible! It's 'cause you're cute, well-behaved, and most importantly, you're my child. It'd be weird if you weren't popular. So, what kinda kid are they?"

When I turn to her, Mom's staring at me with a wide grin. It's a girly expression but she's so pretty that it doesn't look out of place.

"They didn't write a name, so I dunno. But the writing didn't seem like a boy's, it's more girly."

"Oh, isn't that wonderful? I got lots of confessions from girls when I was a student, too. Being popular with other girls proves you're a really good girl!"

"Huh. Well, I'm kinda happy about that, even if I've got a long way to go compared to you," I say with a smile. I'm happy, I really am, but there's just as much worry spinning in my head. Around and around, like a sink draining.

Mom's voice softens as if she noticed.

"Now, now, I think it'd be insensitive for your mother to ask how you'll respond, so I'll just say one thing. Whether or not you accept, the correct choice, to me, is the one you've thought through for yourself. You could date boys, you could date girls, whoever it is doesn't matter. I'll love you no matter what," she says, hugging me gently so her dirty hands from cooking don't touch my skin.

I could feel her love even in a light hug like this and my heart fills with a sense of safety. I somehow feel okay just from her warmth enveloping me. I haven't resolved anything, I don't understand anything, but it seems fine.

"Thanks. I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, Ai..."

And with that exchange, the front door clatters open. Ren appears in the kitchen following her quiet footsteps.

"I'm back. What're we having?" she asks, indifferent.

Mom ends the hug and happily replies, "Welcome home. Hey, you gotta hear this! Ai got a love letter, from a girl no less!" Her voice bounces like it'd happened to her.

I peek at Ren, my eyes a little downcast from embarrassment.

"Eh?"

Ren's schoolbag slips off her shoulder, landing with a thud.

Her face goes deathly pale.