Chapter 1 ~ Siscon?

"When I grow up, I'm gonna marry Onee-chan!"^[1]

How terribly nostalgic. Faraway memories caress me, behind my retinas.

In the neighborhood park, the elementary school playground, the shopping district, in all the places Ren would go.

"Ren-chan, you really adore your sister, don't you?"

Teachers and the aunties at the shopping district all said things like that. I felt so proud every time I heard it. When she clung to me, never letting go, my little sister was unbearably cute. I often overheard classmates complain about their siblings, but I never understood that sentiment.

After all, a sister one year younger, who restlessly follows you around, trying to hold your hand whenever possible, couldn't be anything but adorable.

In those days, I couldn't have imagined a future where our tightly clasped hands, our gentle body heat, would ever unravel. I thought we would be in tune with each other, forever.

beep beep beep

My smartphone's alarm brings me back to reality.

I slowly open my eyes. I yawn, with a big stretch. Then, checking the time, I resist the urge to fall back sleep and jump out of bed.

Leaving my room, I stagger over to the washroom in a daze. There, the face from my dream earlier appears in front of me.

"Good morning, Ren."

I greet a face much taller than it was in the dream. I don't receive a reply, though. Ren quickly turns her face away, brushes past me, and goes back to her room upstairs.

Ren has changed. First of all, she grew so tall. As if mocking my status as elder sister, she overtook my height. And in response, her countenance became so beautiful. She cut her long hair, which had matched mine, with a single stroke, giving her a chilly vibe.

Not only that, her personality changed, too. She used to be so clingy, so spoiled, but now she won't bother speaking to me. I don't remember exactly when it happened. I think it was probably around the time Ren was in middle school. Little by little, Ren began distancing herself from me.

Even though we used to share a room, sleeping in the same bed at night. She said she wanted her own room, and moved into what was, long ago, our father's.

She wouldn't go anywhere without me, back in elementary school. To and from school, of course, but during every recess, she always went where I was. When I graduated, one year ahead of her, she cried and threw a tantrum.

That all changed in middle school, when she joined the basketball club instead of my literature club, improving so much that she was chosen for the city's invitational tournament^[2]. I watched her receive countless awards at school assemblies. Her morning practices meant we didn't go to school together anymore, and when I called out to her at school, she pretended like she didn't know me. When I graduated middle school, again one year ahead, she shed no tears.

Even now that we've started attending the same high school, she's still different, wearing her school uniform while I'm still in my pajamas. I'm sure she's headed to morning practice.

As her sister, I'm proud to see her grow up so elegantly, but I'm a little lonely, too. Truthfully, I guess I should be happy she's turning away from me, but I haven't been able to separate myself from her. After all, despite how her height has changed, or how firm her personality has become, in my heart, I see her as an extension from the little sister who used to cry 'Onee-chan' at every turn. We don't have to be that close, but I would like for us to exchange a few words with each other, at least.

Isn't this sort of thing called a sister complex?^[3]

I meander through my morning routine, thinking like this.